how extraordinary it is to be here

how extraordinary it is to be here

Growing up, I looked out at the world around me. I saw some of my peers had many things I didn’t — a safe space to come home to, present parents that could provide with ease, unbounded love and support. It was hard to wonder why I didn’t have the same.

The gift of my life was always in a very quiet, discreet knowing inside — “It will be okay,” it said.

And it very much was okay. I look back and wish nothing was different. I look back with awe. Contained in every moment of loneliness, sadness, grief, and fear held the earnest desire to alleviate it, not just for myself but others, too.

The greatest lessons I have ever learned are two: first the one of humility and second the one of compassion. Humility because through my experiences, life has reminded me that I am not exempt from the vicissitudes of living and compassion because as I find my way through and out of suffering, I am called to help the ones around me do the same.

With that being said, it is extraordinary to be here.

In this ever-so-brief life, I have chosen to dedicate myself to compassionate living with sensitive attention to the feeling world of beings. I have chosen a path of least harm and pray that I have enough wisdom to do what’s best in every moment. I have heard how you live is how you die; I hope to live giving to the world more than I have taken from it.

Earth has let us in to transform our consciousness — this is the greatest invitation so we never have to worry if we’re invited to someone’s party.

Let go of what’s unimportant as quickly as possible. What we’ve always been here for is to transform the deepest part of ourselves. Money, ambition, popularity, or status will not reach this place.

The space I sit in now, how generous it is to keep me here while I convey a message that resides in my heart. How loving my teachers have been to me — my family, lovers, friends — guiding me toward what I needed to know and didn’t. Everyone was always what they needed to be for me to learn what I needed to know — even when it hurt.

Thank you to all the people who have let me in. Who have opened the door to their life for me to walk through. You didn’t have to, but you did. Your presence is my mirror — I could never have seen me without you. You were always there to usher me forward. You were always there to ensure I would one day complete my life lessons.

So delicately are we threaded together. My actions affect you; yours affect me. Let us choose in favor of peace.

“Thank you for having me,” I tell all of life. The privilege has been all mine. To love, love, love. To care for people from the most unconditional spaces in my heart and be present with them as I remind myself that we will one day part and say, “Wasn’t it beautiful? How we loved? How we laughed at silly jokes and smiled when our eyes met, and how we got angry at small things made big and even how it felt painful? We were trying our best with what we knew. We were working out what we needed to. That was all we were brought here to do. We thought it was worse than it was because we were tangled in ignorance. We can untangle now; we can lovingly let go.”

And the immensity of the present is so big, so immeasurable, even in its most ordinary state. Because contained within this moment is every chance to love again, be kind again, forgive again, and embrace again.

It is extraordinary to be here and one day go. 

May the in-between be so sincere.